Have You Ever Been Caught in an Under-current? (freewrite 1)

I was only in elementary school. The age when fear was very simple and easily provoked. When fear was the most common emotion and the decision maker behind my schemes and all those decisions of my peers.  I can't do it, what if it hurts? Don't do that, what if this happens? It was the most powerful of emotions my simple mind was capable of. As a child, life was so full of unkowns and inexperience. The multitude of question marks created by the unknown, and all things bigger than myself, were filled with fear as a default action taken by myself and all children. When I try to remember situations in my childhood that invoked fear, one particular experience remains vivid. Not a playful fear but a deep, gut-wrenching fear that gives me the chills to this day. It happened when my best friend Des and I decided to float the Stillwater River, as we did every other hot summer day. The float was just as any other until we came into a faster section of the river that included many obstacles as well. One of the obstacles was a log stretching across the river. the log created a special current as water was pushed above and below, creating an undercurrent in the stream beyond the log. Fear was already setting in as we came into the section, but it was a playful fear. the current funneled me towards the log, a direction i did not want to go. The playful fear became a little more real as I looked towards the unknown. An unknown that was translated by my young mind into fear. Fear not because I knew of the danger, but because i didnt know. Colliding with river debris was nothing outside the norm but the river was acting funny. it was moving unnaturally, oddly twisting and turning around the log before moving on. My tube hit the log, vibrating for an instant. I expected to be pushed aside, the outcome of colliding with all things previous. Instead, the tube and I were sucked underneath. It was startling, but handleable (made that word up i think, but its a freewrite!). Once I had time to think I realized the water was moving very awkwardly. I tried to correct my orientation and stabilize my submerged body, then hitting the full under-current. I was tugged back the direction whence i came and was forced into an underwater barrel-roll. Now I was terrified. As I panicked, I kicked and swung every limb, trying to move anywhere but the position I was in.  I didn't know what was up or what was down. I needed air and was making no progress. Now fear completely took hold of me, "I need to get out, I'm not going to die." My lungs were convulsing, with no more energy to use adrenaline blasted through my body, my twists and kicks became more powerful as I felt this was life or death. Then, somehow, someway, the current moved in my favor, or I made the correct motion, but I hit the surface. My mouth split open, gasping for air. I pulled myself as far out of the water as possible and clung to the log. Heart racing, I breathed slowly, embracing the now so cherished air. I heard Des laughing, oblivious to the fact that I was close to death moments before. He shouted "let's go dude!" and floated around the bend. I laid on the log, motionless for probably 15 minutes before I began to do anything but savor every breath. I pulled myself atop the log and looked for a way out.  Terror sunk in again, I had to swim to shore to get out, the log was mid-river. I trembled and lied my head on the log. "no, no! I can't do this. I can't get back in." Sprawled across the log, I sulked in dread and started to get cold. "I have to do this." I decided I needed to spring off the log and as far downriver as possible. My heart picked up pace again as i positioned my legs beneath me. "Ok, I've got this, I'm going to be fine." I lengthened my body and sprung from the log with all power I could manage. I hit the water and began swimming as strong as I was capable, continuing until my hands hit the gravely shore. I crawled out of the water and looked into something I was unaware could be so powerful. I became anxious as i wondered if i was ever going to get in the water again, for it was something I loved so much. I walked the rest of the way to the floats end, still feeling uneasy. The years have passed and yes I have gotten back in the water.  Although my love for the hobby trumped the fear, I always remember that day and to respect the potential power of the water.  The experience forged a vivid memory in my mind, One that reminds me to respect what is unknown.

(ya I know, boring ending)